Monday, August 20, 2012

The Case of the Flying Blueberry

Another Monday, another thrilling weekend recap, right?

Well, kablam! Something exciting actually happened to me this weekend:

I got shit on by a bird! Hooray!

Just kidding about the hooray part, not kidding about the bird shit. FML--that's what "the kids" say, right?

The bird attacked me with its feces on Pearl Street here in Boulder, which, in case you don't know, is a pretty popular walking mall in the heart of Boulder, i.e. lots of people saw me get shit on. David and I had just finished having dinner with our friends at The Kitchen Next Door ( and were standing outside the restaurant chit chatting it up. When out of nowhere,

I felt something hit the top of my head. I've never been shit on before, so instead of deducing that it was prolly bird shit, I actually thought that someone eating al fresco had thrown a blueberry at me. So, of course, I turned around and yelled "Hey! Not cool!" at all those peeps. Yah. Lucky for them I stuck my hand in my hair to pull out the blueberry and found a lump of shit--else those al fresco diners would've had some 'splainin to do. F-ers.

I'm not sure which is more embarrassing: that a bird crapped on me, or that I'm so daft that I actually thought it was more plausible that a random diner at a nice restaurant threw a blueberry at me. (Because a side of blueberries is totally on the menu, right?)

Ugh. At least I had a good excuse to treat myself to frozen yogurt afterward, I guess. And my hair got extra clean with two showers that day too--score! Ugh.

Other than getting crapped on, the weekend was fairly uneventful. I did have a bit of a realization about my recent dietary habits, which has motivated me to clean things up a bit eating wise. This doesn't mean a diet, but I should prolly stop eating when I'm full instead of continuing to eat from boredom, because it's a special occasion (the wedding), or because an entire wedding cake is staring me down. My bad. At any rate, my day started with something that I haven't had in awhile, that is, a big bowl of oatmeal, made with cinnamon, vanilla extract, a whipped up banana, and some peanut butter...yum. (The idea for this was courtesy, of course, of Kath at KERF,

At any rate, eating oatmeal and deciding to clean up my eats a bit this morning made me think about how often I read this same story on blogs all the time--i.e. "I've been eating like crap and today I'm going to start getting on track, starting with this oatmeal which has, like, no calories, and will hopefully help me with milk supply if I ever gain enough weight to become pregnant and nurse a child." Okay, I embellished, but I'm sure you've seen this kind of post, right? Despite my snarkiness, I don't think there's anything wrong with this kind of post; let's not forget that I'm posting very nearly the same thing. However, I started wondering how often bloggers post this while still thinking to themselves, "Or, instead of getting 'on track,' it's totally possible that I'm like one bitchy hormonal surge away from a cupcake and another cupcake and another cupcake and an endless slide into obesity." Anyone?

*Ever been shit on before? By a bird or human?

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