Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Teenage Girls

So. This post is going to be kind of about me having baby, but not exactly me being knocked up.

As the title of this post might suggest, lately I've been thinking about having girl babies and then what happens to them when they enter adolescence. The reason I'm thinking about this is that, yes, it is apparently quite likely that the pod in my belly is a girl pod. I had a special ultrasound last week to detect for birth defects and other chromosomal irregularities, and while there I asked the technician to guess boy or girl. It's actually pretty interesting, really, the way they detect girl or boy. Apparently, in the early stages of development, the kid's "bizness" looks very similar, as both sexes have a "genital tubercle" that is either pointed horizontally or vertically. If the "tubercle" is pointed horizontally, chances are good that it will develop into labia. If it's pointed up, or vertically, chances are good that it will develop into a scrotum. Sorry for the anatomical vividness of those last two sentences:-)

Anyway, our pod is pointed horizontally, so while gender prediction at this early stage is only 65-80% accurate, there is a good chance that we will be buying lots of freaking glittery crap in the near future.

So, that brings me to my next point, which is OMGOMGOMG, how the f$%# am I going to raise a girl, and no. 2, OMGOMGOMG, she is sooooo going to hate my guts for like three years when she goes through puberty.

Sigh. Even though it's a bit taboo to say anything but "We don't care if it's a boy or girl as long as it's healthy," I was really hoping that I'd have a boy. I reallyyyyyyy want to dress up a plump little toddler in corduroys, sweater vests, and geeky shoes so that he's adorable but also looks kind of like an old man. (Reason #1 why I should've been screened before being allowed to procreate.)

Mostly, however, the reason that I wanted a boy is that I'm afraid of how difficult it is to raise girls. With boys it seems like you just have to worry about whether or not they've broken any bones, though I'm afraid that having girls means that--especially during puberty--you're dealing with a lot more emotion and potential drama.

I had a really good childhood, but I remember going through puberty and just generally feeling irritable and moody no.matter.what. I didn't like where we vacationed, I didn't like what we did on vacation, and I certainly didn't like who my family was. (This wasn't always true, and now thankfully I can see that all of these feelings were just a result of hormones.)

More specifically, however, I remember feeling embarrassed about my mom. She just wasn't as cool as some other moms. (At least in my hormone-colored glasses.) She didn't take me to the right stores to get clothes and dresses for school dances. She didn't let us have the cool snacks that all my friends got to eat...yadayadayada. Of course now I realize that I was just, duh, going through puberty, but man--feeling like I'm going to be on the other side of that in the near future is freaking me out.

So what's your puberty story/relationship with your mom? Did you go through a similar phase when you were an adolescent? Do you wish for girl babies anyway? (If you wish for babies at all.)

*Disclaimer (so as to avoid hate messages): I really do love my mom and my family _a lot_, and I'm very thankful for them and who they are. Also, I am also going to love whatever comes out of my uterus very, very much; it's just that as with puberty, pregnancy causes a shit-ton of fears and feelings that are due to a huge rise in hormones. In other words, if you're thinking about sending a mean message about how ungrateful and undeserving I am, please send a coupon for free ice cream instead.


  1. My mom did a few things really right: she let me make my own decisions whenever possible. And she reasoned with me when I wasn't allowed to do something. I am not sure that works with everyone, but it did wonders for me. When I decided to have purple hair when I was 13 or so, she told me she didn't like it, but she let me do it. I remember even as a relatively young kid that I was making lots of my own decisions. Also, she never told me that I couldn't do something. She had a lot of confidence in my abilities. (Though that also meant taking care of a lot of things on my own that other kids' parents did for them.) When I wanted to go to rock concerts when I was still too young to go on my own, she went with me. And she actually had a good time. She just had a generally high tolerance for all sorts of shit, she wasn't easily freaked out.

    Also, I am not sure it's easier to raise a boy. When they go through puberty, it seems like they just want to sit mutely in their room, play video games, and jerk off. And it's your job to make them into eloquent, charming men who respect women and know how to do shit around the house. Doesn't sound like that much fun either.

    1. Hmm...reasoning with your kids--that's a smart move. I think kids get frustrated a lot because parents tend to say "No" and then, of course, "Because I said so."
      And I take your point about boys; I hadn't thought much about what my brothers were like at that age!

  2. Every time I'm around my nephew I think "I hope to god I have daughters." He is just off the walls all.the.time. I definitely went through "that phase" as an adolescent but my mom always said she'd rather be lenient with my sister and I rather than be strict and risk "losing us," whatever that meant. If it makes you feel better, I got over it and my mom is one of my best friends now. Also, my dad has a son and two daughters and was ELATED when he found out he was having my sister and I.

    1. I have heard that boys are particularly difficult as younger children...too much energy and desire to destroy, clang, bang, and hit everything!!! Maybe the universe made the right choice by giving me a girl after all, since all that noise and banging might drive me to abuse prescription painkillers or tranquilizers...