Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Intestinal Wandering + Wednesday Wonderings

Hi friends! So I'm going to have to make this quick and photo-less, I'm afraid. I'm behind on this freelance project and going into my work "week" at the Humane Society. All my part of the freelance work is due on Monday, so that means that today has been one of the few days that I have to work on it while not working at the Humane Society. Does that make sense? If it doesn't, try to understand just in general what a big shot I must be to be doing a freelance project. Sounds fancy, huh? Really it just means that I'm not good enough to be really hired; I'm just more available at the last second than people who are legitimately employed. Heh.

In other news, I went to the doctor's office today. From here on out I have to go every two weeks. Holy pot pie, right? This is already accumulating to the most doctor's visits I've ever had. Today I got more details on my glucose test--I passed it with bright rainbow flying colors--and my doctor also told me that doing a few hours in an active birth class prolly wouldn't cut it when it comes to natural birth. Have I talked about my "birth plan" yet? I can't remember. In any case, my plan is to try to go as natural as possible without dogmatically committing to a natural birth. How about that--does that make sense? In clich├ęs, my motto here is to "do my best" and to just "see how it goes." Hmmm...that sounds surprisingly not type-A, doesn't it?

Ugh, my bad. That was an unexpected tangent and now I feel I've put myself out there for judgment. But since I know all five of my readers, and know that you all are really welcoming and not the type to write in about how dumb my "plan" is, I'll just go ahead and leave it:-)

So, anyway, I got to hear the baby's heartbeat and had my doctor answer all my questions. I wrote down these questions and realized later that they were kinda funny. They are as follows:

1) What kind of baby thermometer should I get? (Seriously, this is my life now. This is a seriously contentious issue amongst moms apparently. #FML.)
2) Is it normal to have cervical contractions or pain at this point? (Sorry, TMI.)
3) Where have my intestines gotten to?

Turns out my intestines have migrated to just below my ribcage. If that doesn't sound unnatural and freaky then you are definitely the mom from that Brady show. Props to you. You should procreate like crazy. To me it sounds absurd. That shit isn't supposed to move, people! (Literally.) (Ha.)

I hope you all are having a wonderful hump day. See you right back here on Sunday or Monday!

*Where do you usually keep your intestines?


  1. LOL at all the intestine questions/comments! That sounds super unnatural to me but apparently it's normal! I don't think you're birth "plan" is all that crazy. I mean how many people's births actually go as planned anyways?

    1. I think very few go exactly as planned. I'm confused that people--doctors, doulas, etc.--ask you for a definite birth plan at all; it seems very strange to say, beforehand, that I know exactly how I'm going to react in a situation that I've never been in. (And, btw, a situation that is apparently like the most intense situation of one's life.)

  2. Replies
    1. Hmmm...have you already told me how that worked out? I can't remember. [Aside from seeing pictures of your handsome boy:-)]