One of the major posts that I've been envisioning is about my history with eating disorders. This is not that post, per se. But as I sat down to write a post I realized that I hadn't posted pictures of my eats for the last few days. This prompted me to think again about what kind of blog I want this to be--i.e. do I really want to catalogue everything I eat and/or generally make this a blog about a person recovering from disordered eating? Yes, but no. That is, when I decided to start a blog, I felt like part of what I could offer is my experiences working through recovery. And I mean _working_, because changing old, destructive habits and continuing to choose recovery even after zazzilians of setbacks is HARD.
On the other hand, I do not want my relationship with food and exercise to act as the foundation of my life or this blog. I am also very mindful of the fact that posting pictures of what I eat or how far I ride my bike may not be healthy for me or for readers who might be struggling with the same issues.
The only conclusion that I've come to about this issue is that--just like everything else I've learned in recovery--it's never as simple as yes/no, black/white, or disordered/healthy. Things are much more murky and just as it wouldn't make sense for me to totally ignore the issue of food and exercise, it is also not productive for me to focus on them to excess. I can't say what "excess" is right now, except that I'm hoping it's like pornography and I'll know it when I see (write) it. For now, while I'm still getting the hang of blogging, I'm going to continue to show pics of my eats and my activities intermittently. What that really means is that when I do a badass ride/run or eat something worth showing (PEANUT BUTTERRRRRRR!), I'll let you know. I'll also finish writing and post about my past with eating disorders. For now, just imagine a freckly adolescent eating too much candy while simultaneously wondering why she was kinda chubby. (Even at that age my reasoning skillz were pretty fantastic.)
*In the meantime, how do you feel about bloggers who share all their eats and exercise? Does it draw you to a blog or turn you off? Do you think it is healthy or unhealthy?