My Girl Friday

Am I alone in thinking that pasta isn't all that fantastic? I mean, I get why mac and cheese is popular. Cream + cheese = no brainer. But a pile of noodles with anything other than cheesy fatty goodness = no so much. 

This is my preface to saying that the pasta dinner I made last night was pretty good, but I'd still take crusty bread + cheese (i.e. pizza) over pasta any day. 

I started with some diced veggies, which included a coupla carrots and zucchini:

Next, I proceeded to work my magic by adding a few carefully selected ingredients that would make it seem like I knew how to cook. These included Field Roast Seitan "sausages" and more of that yummy Red Pepper Pesto that I had from lunch. 

Added to some parmesan cheese and whole wheat spaghetti, I'd say the meal was a success!

Though my favorite part might have been the beer--Belgo India Pale Ale by New Belgium.

Oh, and I almost forgot--I also "made" a salad with sliced strawberries and toasted almond slivers.

I actually shaped these almonds into a heart shape. Please leave a comment. 

In other news, while I was walking on "The Hill" here in Boulder yesterday a car full of students drove by me and yelled "Hi, Mom." 

I mean, seriously? Like thirty one isn't hard enough? Granted, I was wearing khaki skirt, and those do seem to be popular with older women who don't want their vaginas hanging out of their freaking shorts. But, still. 

*Are you old? Is someone you know and love becoming old?

Thursday-Schmurzday

Greetings from...a different Whole Foods!!! Sometimes I'm even impressed with how well I deal with change.

It's lunch time, and I'm typing away while I finish the last bits of my lunch. Lunch today was a disjointed affair because I was supposed to volunteer for a conference being held in my department, but due to the weather our outdoor picnic was cancelled and I was left with time to kill before another eye doctor's appointment at 1:30.

I filled my time with some unpictured sesame kale, sugar (muffin top), brown rice chips, and some yummy roasted red pepper pesto:

Cornmeal blueberry muffin. Good idea, but too sweet:-(

I suspect Parmesan cheese is the reason that I liked this pesto so much!

After my eye appointment (just to have my new contact lenses checked out), I'm rushing to the grocery again to get ingredients to make dinner for my brother Brian, his wife Jennifer, and their new baby Ella. I don't know who is more nervous about dinner: the two vegetarians cooking it or the two meat-eaters to whom it will be served. David suggested Spicy Seitan burritos, but I think some kind of whole wheat pasta with this red pepper pesto is more likely to please the veggies and the guests!

*What do you serve when you have people over for dinner? If you're a vegetarian, do you consider preparing and serving meat? I would consider it, though my lack of handling meat (ever) would put my guests at high risk for e. coli. (You're welcome, Brian and Jennifer.)

Netflix Knows Your Secrets

Today I thought I'd write about...your mom. 

But seriously, how about some randomness?

Is anyone else's curiosity piqued by Netflix's movie recommendations? The bf and I enjoyed a home movie night--the first time in a long time--and this evening I signed in to Netflix to see that a movie called  Michael is apparently right up my dirty perverted alley. A quote from the synopsis:

"Michael seems like an ordinary -- even boring -- middle-aged guy. But after work, he returns home and unlocks the basement cell where he keeps a 10-year-old boy."

WTF, Netflix?!!? Or maybe I should be asking the bf WTF, right? Like, what does he really do all day when I'm shopping at Whole Foods all day? Perhaps even more funny is the user reviews of Michael. According to one viewer, 

"I would never have imagined that I could enjoy a movie about pedophilia, but I did enjoy this one." 

This is cute because let's face it--we tend to like movies and pictures that confront us with the ugliest, hardest, blackest parts of ourselves. I mean, there's a reason that those wretched videos of pigs being abused in factory farms get circulated so fast and so far--and the reason is that we are fascinated by others who are really, really sick. Sick, angry, violent: now that I think about it, it might also have something to do with why we (and by "we" I'm just deflecting from saying "I" so you won't think I'm gross) like to pop zits and pull blackheads out of our noses with strange sticky strips from Target. It's nasty, for sure, but nasty is kind of interesting.

I'm going to end on that note, and leave you with a nasty little detail courtesy of Scientific American. According to a recent article by Jennifer Ackerman, bacteria cells outnumber human cells by 10 to one in the human body. That means that for every cell of "me" there are ten yucky pussy yeasty cells just swarming around and probably making me weigh more.

*What is Netflix recommending for you? Also, do you enjoy popping zits? (Be honest)

Body-Pumped

Yah, I got BodyPumped today. For those of you who aren't exercise addicts, that means that I went to a Body Pump class at my gym. Body Pump, or YPump, is a weight-lifting group fitness class that works every major muscle group until you feel like the pain would be less if you just amputated said muscle group. Okay, it's not really that hard, but I usually feel like a badass when I'm doing it.

In other breaking news, I've discovered something really yummy to replace my usual breakkie--i.e. some kind of carb and peanut butter. It's a whole wheat English muffin with olive oil and sea salt. It's soooo good, and just the change of pace I've been needing. But seriously, does this mean that I've tasted the Boulder Kool-Aid??!! Three years ago I wouldn't have cared how many "good" fats were in olive oil--there was no way I'd be adding gratuitous calories to my breakfast. (I also avoided Emergen-C fizzy water because it had a mind blowing FIVE calories.) And now look at me--I'm just pouring on the olive oil while I think about how good it is for my body.

But seriously, yum:

Please excuse the sad dinnerware. When I feel like it I'll buy newer, prettier dishes.

And just because I neeeeeed peanut butter everyday:

Lunch after Body Pump:

Just to be clear, I hate half of the sandwich at lunch and half at dinner. Lunch also included a few bites of yummy muffin top, and dinner also included some...noochy dino kale!!!

But the best thing that happened to me today: 

I just got some new mountain wheels to ride fast around our new mountain casa!!

*Do you have moving boxes in the entryway of your house? No? Just us? Hmmmm...

Death by Vegetarianism

So, since we've gotten Haruki from the shelter we've been feeding her a Salmon meal dry dog food, often mixed with pumpkin, peas, sweet potato, veggie stock, etc., etc. We've also been running with her a lot, and noticed today that she is looking downright gaunt. Eeeeps! The bf was worried that we should take her to the vet, but by chance I had picked up two new things at the pet store: raw beef bones--like, literally, freaking cow marrow--and wet dog food made from chicken. And, umm, our dog is no longer pescatarian! She also ate more and faster than we've ever seen her eat!

To clarify: we never intended to make her any kind of -atarian, but rather, bought a dog food with salmon because we thought it would decrease her shedding and improve her fur coat.

Regardless of our intentions, it's clear that Ruki likes her meat and won't be a vege- or pesca-tarian anytime soon.

I don't feel ethically bound to make Ruki be a vegetarian, but I do think those raw bones are nasty.

In other news, I am feeling better today, though still feeling a pretty consistent sense of queasiness. I did manage to eat something for lunch, which was sesame kale salad and a whole wheat english muffin with Earth Balance. When you don't eat Earth Balance or butter or margarine regularly, it tastes pretty fantastic. 

I also picked up a new treat while I was at Whole Foods. I was hesitant to buy it because it's pretty high in sugar, but this Boulder heat wave persuaded me that I need something frozen and sweet in my freezer:

 Yum. Yum. Yum.

And, as a "treat" for you all, here's a couple of shots of the sky from our deck last night...sigh...better.than.yoga.

*What do you feed your dog? Do you think that my nearly starving my new dog to death is a harbinger of bad things to come if the bf and I have kids?

Sick as a Lemur

Why not "lemur" instead of "dog?"

Am I the only one who wonders about *isht* like this? I mean, besides the contestants on Jeopardy?

Anyyyyyhow, yah, I feel like crap. I felt tired and headachy as soon as I woke up this morning, but brushed it off and did some cleaning around the house.

However, around two p.m., I took Haruki for a hike/run and about halfway through felt like I wanted to lie down on the trail in the fetal position. Ugh. I've been on the couch for about three hours, and the most telling detail is that the only thing I've eaten all day is an apple.

That's a big freakin' deal, peeps. Usually I feel like eating even when I'm sick, so no appetite=Nikki is a sick girl.

I did manage to take some pictures of my hike before I started feeling pukey. I'm going to go get my phone to transfer them aaaaaaaany second now. Now. Now. Okay now. (Sigh)

Ta-da!

Pretty, right? Yah--these were covered in creepy bugs that were sucking the sweetness right out of them. Like zombies, only they want flower nectar and not blood.

Haruki! 

When I run through this part I feel very lucky.

I want to ride my bike up that road asap.

I like to think that some kind of cannibalism happened near here in  "the olden days."

Cactus flower! Are cacti predators? Else why the showy blossom--if not to lure in prey  in order to catch or prick them?



*What do you do when you're sick?
 I may or may not watch episodes of MTV's 16 and Pregnant and count myself lucky.

ED Reflections, no. 4/Jamestown

This morning I took a bunch of pictures during my bike ride in anticipation of posting about it.

But all I really want to write about is how I'm feeling very, very fragile lately. Recovering from an eating disorder is hard, and no matter how "far" I've come I still find myself confronting very real barriers to full recovery. In the current case, I'm talking about a bad habit of overeating recently, coupled with a horrific case of disappointment that I've "let myself" gain weight. Restoring my body to a higher weight was a major objective of recovery, but let's face it: gaining weight is difficult. It was very difficult at the beginning stages of recovery, but now that I've been at a healthy weight for awhile, gaining a few pounds from careless eating feels surprisingly awful and uncomfortable. That is, even though my weight is higher than it used to be--and objectively I realize that this is a good thing--what remains is the eating disordered thinking that my weight is an all-or-nothing, black-and-white, and very slippery slope. Gain one pound, the eating disorder sayz, and you instantly become fat. So much so that everyone will notice and secretly be disappointed in your lack of control over your appetite.

Obviously this is distorted thinking. But distorted thoughts can deeply affect your mood, and in my case they are making me feel slightly depressed and ashamed. Yes, ashamed--of myself for being moody, for being susceptible to the charms of a late-night bowl of cereal (okay, two bowls), for not being able to "get it together," etc., etc. Really, for being a freaking human who isn't always on the defensive against an "enemy," i.e. food, weight gain, and my body. Yah, I guess I've really let my defenses slip, and yah, I weigh more now than I did three years ago. And yah, some peeps might see me and think that I look like one of those hot dogs that plumps when you cook 'em. 

(Deep breath)

But, it's okay. Where I am right now is okay--because right now isn't forever and not every point on the path to recovery can be easy or straightforward or better than the previous point. I'm recover(ed)(ing), but I still struggle. And that's okay.

On a less boo-hoo-ing note, I rode my bike with my pops (DAD) today. We rode up to Jamestown, which is a mini-town in the foothills of Boulder.

As you can see, Jamestown is pretty idyllic, complete with random dogs running around and everything:

Anyone else think "Dip" signs are funny?

*Anyone else want to publicly admit something with which they struggle? And come on--this is only partially public since I have approximately four readers.